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Want to unlock your best sex life? Say hello to your new BFF Emily Morse. A doctor of human sexuality and host of the hit podcast, "Sex with Emily," Morse is one of the leading sexperts in the space right now. As a self-proclaimed "lube pusher," she's now the chief sexologist on high quality lubricant brand Playground's Sex and Wellness Council. Across all of her roles, everything she does is in the name of pleasure-focused sex education. |
If you've ever wanted to ask a sexpert about sexual health misconceptions, frequently asked questions around intimacy, and how to have better sex, look no further! We asked Morse all of the above, and we're sharing her answers below. |
*This interview has been edited for length and clarity. |
Q: | What inspired you to launch your show? What has been your biggest takeaway from hosting it so far? | |
A: I started "Sex with Emily" in my mid-30s, because I wanted to know what created authentic, hot, "good" sex. Whenever anyone told me they had an amazing sex life, I wanted to ask: "What do you mean? How? What specifically do you do to make it satisfying?" |
Over time, "Sex with Emily" evolved into a resource to have open, honest conversations about sex, and I'm so happy that our whole community has grown up around it. Together, we've moved the culture forward to talk about sex as a completely normal and vital part of your overall health. |
One of my biggest takeaways from hosting is we all need help with sex. You never arrive at a place where you're perfect at sex and you're done learning. Your sexual needs (and your partners' needs) are ever-changing and evolving, whether you're single, in a relationship, or polyamorous. |
Q: | What are some common misconceptions surrounding sexual health and intimacy? Can you bust each of them with the facts? | |
A: "If I have a vulva and I need lube for sex, there must be something wrong with me." |
We all need lube! According to data from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, an estimated 70% of people with vaginas report having experienced insufficient lubrication at one point or another. This has to do with so many factors, including that day's hormone levels, which are out of your control. So, lose the shame, and grab the lube. |
"If I have problems with erection, there's something wrong with my penis." |
Erectile dysfunction is very common, and penis owners carry a lot of shame around it. If you prioritize your heart health by doing the basics (e.g., regular exercise, healthy diet, cutting down on alcohol and smoking), your erections [may] become more predictable and long lasting. That's because erections depend on cardiovascular health: blood flowing into the penis to create the erection. Just 30 minutes of walking a day has been linked with a 41% drop in risk for ED. |
"If my partner has to use a toy to orgasm, I must not be enough." |
For hetero couples, the orgasm gap is real. About 95% of cis-het men orgasm during sex, compared with 65% of cis-het women (which seems to me like an overestimation, actually). Why is this happening? Because for most women, penetrative sex does not stimulate the clitoris. There's nothing wrong with you or your penis. She just needs a toy, a mouth, or fingers stimulating her clitoris specifically to climax. Accept this, and be free! |
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Q: | What's the biggest theme you've noticed in the sexual issues that face people across genders? | |
A: Almost everyone struggles with talking to their partner about sex. They're worried that they'll hurt their partner's feelings or take it as a criticism. |
I truly believe that if we can talk about sex like we talk about what's for dinner, everyone wins. There's no one-size-fits-all solution, but if we can be more forthright and open when discussing sex itself, the answers come more readily. And that's true no matter your gender. |
Q: | If you can only share one piece of advice or nugget of wisdom when it comes to boosting your sexual well-being and having a healthier, more pleasurable sex life, what would it be? | |
A: Prioritize your solo sex! That's where you're going to get useful information about your turn-ons and discover the physical sensations that feel good. I always tell people "you are responsible for your own orgasm." It's much easier if you explore your own body on the regular. |
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